There’s nothing worse than a frostbitten peter after a trek up the mountains or a ride down the slopes. Give your wanker some love with ThermaJock ($15). This patented product is specially designed to protect your love shaft from the cold, as well as prevent shrinkage. Not only is the Polartec Thermal Pro material will keep your wee wee warm, it’s soft and comfy-cozy you won’t even know you’re sporting a ThermaJock. Wow, four penis slangs in one post. It’s gotta be a record.